This narrative originates from an intimate and reflective conversation with Marguerite Elisofon, a 69-year-old author and special needs consultant residing in New York City. The account, while carefully edited to ensure coherence and conciseness, preserves the authenticity of a mother’s voice as she recounts the complicated tapestry of love, struggle, and triumph that has defined her family’s journey.
At the heart of Marguerite’s story is her 34-year-old daughter, Samantha, who has already decided on the song she will perform at her twin brother Matt’s wedding, which is joyfully scheduled for May of the coming year. Samantha, never one to shy away from artistic challenge, is further perfecting her interpretation of Bette Midler’s celebrated ballad, despite the fact that her rendition hardly requires improvement. This song once stood as the emotional crescendo of her solo showcase, aptly titled “Daring to Dream,” which took place just a month earlier. That event was an overwhelming success—a sold-out evening distinguished by thunderous applause and unguarded admiration from the audience. As Marguerite watched her daughter bathe in the warmth of that applause, her sense of pride transcended anything she had previously felt. It was not only Samantha’s voice that moved her mother, but the journey it represented: that of a woman once labeled and underestimated, now commanding the stage with self-assured grace.
Samantha was diagnosed with autism early in life, around the age most children are just beginning to find their words. Rather than dwell on the limitations that others associated with the diagnosis, she made it her life’s mission to challenge, and often dismantle, the stereotypes that the world tends to impose on individuals living on the spectrum. Her persistence is matched only by her eloquent artistry.
The twins’ story began under precarious circumstances. They were born prematurely, at merely 33 weeks, in December of 1990. From the start, differences between them were evident. Matt, the stronger infant, required only a standard incubator. Samantha, by contrast, entered the world frail and medically fragile. She suffered from jaundice and an irregular heartbeat, requiring breathing tubes and constant monitoring in the NICU until she was stable enough to go home. Those first days were tinged with anxiety and uncertainty, yet also with immeasurable hope.
As time unfurled and the twins grew, developmental differences began to emerge. Matt achieved milestones like pointing, sitting up, and focusing attention on faces. Samantha, meanwhile, lagged behind. Her parents noticed her difficulty making eye contact and her tendency to flap her hands—little gestures that filled Marguerite with both worry and protectiveness. Doctors tested Samantha’s hearing repeatedly, as she often seemed not to respond when her name was called. The results were normal. Yet something deeper, more complex, was unfolding. When Samantha began to speak, her language took on a repetitive quality; she often echoed rather than conversed. At first, specialists diagnosed her with pervasive developmental disorder, a label soon replaced by autism. Over time, Marguerite learned that diagnostic terms, however necessary for access to support, never fully capture the essence of an individual. In her words, Samantha was ‘placed into ninety-nine different boxes,’ yet not one of those boxes managed to define or limit who she truly was.
To help Samantha thrive, the Elisofons explored every possible avenue. She attended a specialized, language-based educational program designed for children requiring more tailored support. At home, she received supplementary therapies—occupational, play, and physical—to nurture what traditional schooling could not address. Even so, specialists warned them with dire predictions. One evaluator compared her functioning level at age eight to that of a preschooler. Her anxiety and behavioral crises grew more acute for periods, testing the family’s resilience. Still, Marguerite and her husband, Howard, refused to resign themselves to pessimism. Every resource they could afford went toward helping their daughter develop both intellectually and emotionally.
Between ages ten and eighteen, Samantha attended a center for visual and conceptual development, where she cultivated logical reasoning and problem-solving abilities. During this time, Matt’s academic path took him to Vassar College, where he studied English and film. True to sibling dynamics, his achievements inspired both competition and motivation in Samantha. Determined to match her brother’s accomplishments, she declared, “If he can do it, why can’t I?” Though some educators doubted her academic aspirations, her resolve did not waver. After exploring programs designed for neurodiverse students, her parents helped her enroll in a liberal arts pathway that culminated in studies at Pace University. There, Samantha flourished—supported by understanding faculty and encouraged by her growing independence. When she graduated cum laude, a year after Matt received his own degree, Marguerite and Howard felt a rush of pride so profound it eclipsed all the years of doubt they had endured.
Nonetheless, Samantha’s truest talents have always been woven into the world of performance and song. Her voice—clear, expressive, and emotionally charged—became the vessel through which she could communicate more freely than everyday conversation sometimes allowed. As she joined an inclusive performing arts ensemble, new opportunities emerged: at only twenty-six, she landed a starring role in a feature film about two people on the autism spectrum navigating love and vulnerability. Her portrayal earned her a nomination for Best Actress at the 2017 Tribeca Film Festival. Even without a win, the recognition itself felt monumental—a validation of years of dedication and self-discovery. From that moment onward, Samantha built an impressive stage résumé, participating in numerous plays and musicals across the city. Her recent “Daring to Dream” concert, showcasing her skill as a lyrical soprano, felt like a culmination of that artistic odyssey.
Behind the public triumphs, however, Marguerite never loses sight of the quieter realities of their lives. Samantha’s disability still shapes her daily routines in palpable ways. Independence, though deeply desired, remains partially out of reach. She does not live alone but shares a Manhattan apartment with her parents, relying on them for both practical support and emotional grounding. Marguerite affectionately, if somewhat ironically, refers to herself as an “autism momager”—simultaneously mother, advocate, and career manager. The arrangement brings moments of both delight and strain. Samantha, magnetic in personality and full of kinetic energy, can instantly brighten any room she enters, drawing others in with her radiance. But her brilliance coexists with deep anxiety that can, in moments of stress, ignite into emotional meltdowns that test everyone’s patience and resilience.
Marguerite continues to refine her parenting approach, conscious of Samantha’s ongoing need to assert independence. What once seemed like gentle gestures of care—reminding her to brush her hair or setting her place at the kitchen counter—can now be perceived by Samantha as attempts to infantilize her. Recognizing this, Marguerite works actively to step back, allowing her daughter to navigate daily tasks on her own terms. This evolving dynamic represents not only a parenting adjustment but also an act of trust: a willingness to accept that progress sometimes depends on restraint rather than intervention.
As the family anticipates Matt’s upcoming marriage, Marguerite finds her emotions layered and complex. She is overjoyed for her son and his fiancée, yet she quietly mourns the parallel path her daughter may never take—a household of her own, perhaps a spouse, children. In a moment of candid reflection, Marguerite recalls a blog she once wrote called “The Never Empty Nest.” Its title, she muses, still resonates deeply; Matt has grown and flown, establishing his own life beyond the family home, while Samantha remains a central, luminous presence in hers. And though this permanent closeness has proven demanding at times, Marguerite acknowledges it as one of her life’s greatest privileges. Living within this enduring bond, she finds both meaning and joy—proof that love, resilience, and pride take shape in many unexpected forms.
Sourse: https://www.businessinsider.com/adult-daughter-always-live-at-home-but-come-far-life-2025-10
