As a household of six individuals, our family has gradually discovered that remaining at home each year to host Thanksgiving is far more manageable, practical, and harmonious than endeavoring to travel during one of the busiest holidays of the season. Early on, in our first year of taking on the role of hosts, we approached the occasion with a deep sense of duty and enthusiasm, attempting to preserve every cherished tradition passed down from both my husband’s family and my own. Yet it soon became strikingly clear that merging two families’ worth of customs required not only boundless energy but also several long days spent in relentless preparation. We found ourselves ensnared in an endless cycle of cooking and cleaning—preparing elaborate dishes one after another, scrubbing pots and pans, tidying rooms, only to repeat the process once more. By the time the highly anticipated Thanksgiving meal finally arrived, our physical and emotional reserves were depleted; exhaustion had replaced excitement, and instead of sharing laughter across the table, we were irritable, weary, and silently wishing for the day to end.
At some point, the pursuit of the so-called picture-perfect holiday—a table gleaming with coordinated place settings, an immaculately decorated home, and a menu worthy of a magazine—began to feel like an unrealistic and joyless endeavor, particularly for two working parents trying to balance jobs, parenting, and household responsibilities. That realization prompted a major transformation: I made the deliberate choice to abandon perfection and embrace simplicity. Thus, our family created what we now fondly refer to as our “anything goes” Thanksgiving—a celebration liberated from rigid expectations and unnecessary stress.
In this new version of Thanksgiving, I no longer agonize over orchestrating every detail or worry about who brings what. The duty of preparing the entire feast no longer rests solely on our household. Instead, every family invited to join us contributes by bringing a few dishes of their own choosing—whatever they feel inspired to share. The result is a true potluck gathering, diverse and uncoordinated, yet wonderfully human and delightfully unpredictable. Some years the contributions harmonize beautifully; other times, we end up with an unconventional assortment of cuisines—and both outcomes are perfectly fine by me. For instance, this year my sister has decided to bring a platter of chicken wings along with a colorful fruit tray, a combination that would have been unthinkable in our earlier years of rigid menus. Meanwhile, our family continues our small tradition of making gluten-free sweet potato pies, accompanied by a new experiment: a decadent s’mores cake recipe. We provide the beverages, and our parents and in-laws add their own personal touches with familiar holiday favorites, though I make no attempt to catalogue or coordinate their offerings. Last year, we even transformed the usual turkey feast into a do-it-yourself taco bar—an inventive and surprisingly successful twist that everyone loved. Ultimately, the guiding principle is simple: anything goes. Our relatives arrive with whatever they please, and I’m confident that, however eclectic the spread may be, there will always be more than enough for everyone to savor.
Our relaxed approach extends beyond the menu. The traditional expectation of dressing up in stiff, formal attire has vanished. In countless movies, Thanksgiving scenes portray families dressed in polished sweaters, crisp shirts, or elegant dresses, but in real life, that kind of effort often translates into unnecessary discomfort. Although I appreciate the occasional reason to look festive, the reality of hosting—while also assisting four children in getting ready—makes elaborate outfits more burdensome than enjoyable. Therefore, in our home, comfort reigns supreme. Each of our kids, now old enough to choose for themselves, decides what to wear, whether that means cozy yoga pants, a favorite sweatshirt, or casual jeans. I too let go of formality and plan to don my beloved Christmas graphic T-shirt, a pair of jeans, and my most comfortable house slippers. Guests are encouraged to do the same; everyone is welcome to arrive in attire that allows them to relax and breathe. After all, who genuinely wants to squeeze into fitted clothing while indulging in a generous holiday meal?
The same sense of easygoing authenticity shapes our table settings. Hosting a meal for fifteen people—including seven children, one still an energetic toddler—makes it both impractical and unnecessary to aim for a lavish tablescape. We rely on fold-out tables and chairs, which, although modest, allow everyone to gather comfortably. Our practical side shows through in our choice of washable, stain-resistant tablecloths and disposable plates and platters—items that require little attention afterward and greatly minimize cleanup. Of course, we could retrieve the delicate wedding china stored in our cabinets, but we prefer not to, simply because preserving our peace of mind matters more than appearances.
Our goal each year is to create an atmosphere of warmth and relaxation rather than formality. We ignite the fireplace and let its soft glow fill the room, putting on a favorite jazz record or allowing the children to play one of their chosen playlists as a gentle soundtrack to the day. This creates a welcoming environment—cozy, inviting, and alive with a sense of togetherness. For the younger children, we prepare a separate table stocked with holiday-themed coloring pages, while for the older kids and adults, we pull out a selection of our favorite board games. These simple entertainments encourage laughter, shared experiences, and genuine connection. Watching everyone sprawl across the floor or lounge in armchairs, chatting and enjoying each other’s company, has become one of my favorite parts of the celebration.
Even our schedule reflects our commitment to keeping things genuine and stress-free. We maintain our family’s usual lunchtime routine, eating around 12:30 p.m.—precisely the time our Thanksgiving buffet opens. We have learned from experience that delaying the meal for hours, waiting for a particular dish to finish, serves only to invite hungry impatience and frayed tempers. There’s no reason to let the turkey dictate the day’s timeline when everyone, especially the kids, is happiest eating at the hour they know best. By holding fast to our normal rhythm, we prevent the collective hanger that often lurks at holiday gatherings and keep the focus where it belongs: on enjoying the company of loved ones, the abundance before us, and the gratitude that brought us together in the first place.
Sourse: https://www.businessinsider.com/nontraditional-thanksgiving-unexpected-potluck-2025-11
