This as-told-to narrative emerges from an in-depth conversation with Olivia Howell, a forty-year-old entrepreneur and devoted mother of two, who leads Fresh Starts Registry as its CEO. The account, shaped and refined for clarity and focus, represents an honest reflection on her personal evolution and emotional recovery.
Olivia recalls that her romantic life began when she was just sixteen, and from that moment forward, she scarcely experienced a pause between relationships until approximately six years ago. During her younger years, she immersed herself in the dynamic yet sometimes overwhelming world of dating apps, often engaging with more than one person simultaneously as she explored what emotional connection and companionship meant to her. While in college, she entered a serious relationship that she genuinely believed would culminate in marriage. However, fate had other plans. At the age of twenty-four, she met her future husband on Match.com. Their romance developed with striking rapidity: he relocated from Connecticut to Long Island—where Olivia continues to reside—and within two years they were married. Their union soon grew into a family with the arrival of their two sons, marking the beginning of what seemed a stable domestic life.
Eventually, the marriage unraveled. By August 2019, her husband had moved out, closing the chapter on their relationship and becoming, as she explains, the last person she has kissed or shared physical intimacy with. Despite the raised eyebrows or subtle pity from those who assume solitude must equate to sadness, Olivia expresses a profound sense of peace and satisfaction with this choice; it is one that represents autonomy and clarity rather than emptiness.
However, she emphasizes that such acceptance was preceded by a difficult and necessary process of healing. Before she could even envision the idea of dating again, Olivia had to confront and mend the deep emotional wounds inflicted by her previous marriage. It was only in the aftermath that she truly recognized the extent of the emotional abuse she had endured. Her former partner frequently used belittling remarks about her appearance and exercised coercive control—an insidious form of psychological dominance characterized by threats, intimidation, and humiliation designed to systematically undermine her confidence and autonomy. Living within this dynamic kept her nervous system in a constant state of hypervigilance. The realization of what she had endured arrived unexpectedly, sparked by her sister sharing several enlightening TikToks discussing emotional abuse. Those brief clips illuminated patterns she had normalized for years, finally allowing her to name what had happened. For so long, she had lived in survival mode, detached from any sense of her own beauty, desirability, or self-worth.
That journey toward reclaiming herself also inspired her work as CEO of Fresh Starts Registry—the divorce gift registry and supportive community she founded after her separation. Through leading the organization, Olivia discovered that ending a marriage does not mark the conclusion of one’s emotional recovery; rather, it marks the beginning of a more challenging and transformative chapter. True healing, she learned, begins after the leaving.
When asked about her current relationship with dating, Olivia is unequivocal: it simply doesn’t align with her life right now. The idea of reentering the modern dating landscape—through apps or social outings—feels incompatible with her daily reality. As a single mother managing a business, the practical and emotional demands of organizing a night out, hiring a sitter, preparing for a date, and potentially engaging in a fleeting or tumultuous relationship seem exhausting and unnecessary. She is candid about the impracticality of bringing a date home while living with her parents, particularly when her bedroom is the same one she once decorated as a teenager. Instead, she finds comfort in spending evenings with her sons, reading novels, or crafting while wearing pajamas on quiet Saturday nights. Because she holds sole custody, her time without her children is limited and precious—an opportunity she uses not for external pursuit but for quiet rest. To her, the calm simplicity of staying in far outweighs any excitement a night out could offer.
Reflecting on the arc of her life, Olivia acknowledges that in her youth and through much of adulthood, her sense of identity depended heavily on validation from men. Her appearance, behavior, and even choices were often filtered through the imagined gaze of others. Now, after six uninterrupted years without dating or physical intimacy, she feels liberated from that internal pressure. The absence of romantic entanglements has given her space to focus on self-discovery and emotional reconstruction—both through therapy and personal introspection. Interestingly, there was a fleeting moment when she reconnected with an old acquaintance. Although their renewed contact never progressed beyond lighthearted, flirty phone conversations, the experience served as a gentle reminder that affection and attraction still dwell within her, and that one day—when she is ready—love will naturally return.
To maintain perspective and nurture her well-being, Olivia keeps a journal cataloging simple things that bring her joy, a written record of gratitude and small pleasures that center her on difficult days. Contrary to many assumptions, she insists that she is not lonely. Society often equates the absence of romantic or sexual connection with isolation, but Olivia rejects that narrative entirely. As she eloquently puts it, the touch of a man is not the only measure of being touched. She invests in self-care practices that allow her to reconnect safely with her body and spirit—regular massage therapy being one such restorative ritual. It serves as a therapeutic, nonromantic means of rebuilding trust with her body after years of emotional neglect.
Olivia attributes much of her strength and confidence to the robust support system surrounding her. Living with her family has provided an invaluable sense of belonging and security. Her parents, siblings, and friends form a network of companions who share meals, engage in heartfelt conversations, and listen without judgment. Their presence grounds her, ensuring that she never feels alone even in the absence of a romantic partner.
Her therapist once encouraged her to step back into social life—suggesting she put on lipstick and go out—but Olivia laughed at the notion, responding with gentle humor: “Do you know me?” she asked. That kind of performative return to dating simply does not fit who she is anymore. Instead, she chooses to express affection inwardly, treating herself as someone worthy of care. She buys new plants for her home, perfumes her bedding every evening, and takes pleasure in creating small environments of comfort and beauty. Each of these acts represents a reaffirmation of self-worth, a quiet yet powerful declaration that she deserves gentleness and attention.
Olivia remains open to love in the future. She is confident that one day she will meet a partner who not only loves her but also steps into a nurturing role for her sons. She draws reassurance from her own childhood experience: being raised by an extraordinary stepfather has given her a living example of how chosen love can expand a family’s capacity for warmth and stability. Until that moment arrives, however, she is content to continue the inward journey.
These six years—and potentially more, if that is what she needs—are, in her view, sacred time devoted to introspection and renewal. By stepping away from the complexities and chaos of modern dating, Olivia has created space to rebuild herself from within. She intends that, whenever she eventually meets someone new—whether tomorrow, in six years, or beyond—she will bring her complete, authentic self into that relationship. She refuses to present anything less than the fullest version of who she can become at that point in her life.
Her story stands as a quiet manifesto of self-reclamation: that stepping back is not the same as stepping away, and that healing, far from being a period of absence, can instead be the richest form of presence imaginable.
Sourse: https://www.businessinsider.com/single-mom-not-dating-kissing-since-divorce-started-company-2025-11
