This first-person essay, relayed through a conversation with Cathy Pedrayes—author of *The Mom Friend Guide to Everyday Safety and Security*—has been thoughtfully edited to enhance clarity and conciseness, while preserving the integrity of her insights.
From as far back as I can remember, I have been deeply fascinated, and in many ways preoccupied, with the issue of safety in everyday life. My career background might strike some people as rather unconventional or even eclectic: I began my professional journey as an environmental scientist conducting on-site inspections, a role that required sharp attention to hidden risks and potential hazards; later, I transitioned into the world of broadcasting as a QVC host, where excellent communication and quick adaptability were paramount. Today, my work has shifted yet again into the realm of digital influence. I have cultivated a large presence on TikTok, where over two million followers engage with my advice on different forms of modern safety—particularly those connected to technology and digital security.
Although my own children are still extremely young—only two and three years old, much too young to actively participate on social media—I remain very involved in guiding the digital habits of younger family members. For instance, my 20-year-old sister and my teenage nieces routinely turn to me as their trusted figure whenever they encounter confusion or dilemmas in the online world. At 36, I find myself in the unique position of both being a parent, who considers online safety from a protective and instructive standpoint, and simultaneously being an enthusiastic user of the very same social media platforms that teenagers gravitate toward. This duality allows me to understand both the technical strategies required to shield children from harm and the social dynamics that make these apps so compelling to young audiences.
One reality I often emphasize to parents is that significant mistakes are frequently made when addressing online security with adolescents. Care can lapse either in technical safeguards or in communication style. To avoid these common pitfalls, parents need to adopt approaches that are both practical and empathetic.
**Let go of exaggerated fear**
A central component of my work involves dismantling the culture of fear that often surrounds the internet. While there is no doubt that the online world can present real dangers, launching into parenting strategies driven by fear usually backfires. When parents operate primarily out of fear, this often translates into rigid control—yet such complete control is illusory in digital spaces. No matter how vigilant one might be, it is impossible to monitor or dictate every single click, chat, or post a child engages with. What parents *can* do, however, is build resilience and strong habits that carry protective power.
Of course, overcoming fear is not necessarily simple. To help, I frequently rely on personal mantras such as affirming that digital spaces are shared communities and that, in reality, most participants within them are not harmful. By anchoring attention on the belief that simple, consistent steps can greatly enhance safety, we reduce feelings of helplessness. Yes, troubling headlines about cybercrimes or predatory behavior circulate daily, but by understanding and applying straightforward precautions, families can lessen risk without succumbing to anxiety.
**Simplify the foundations of safety**
Fear is counterproductive, but empowerment can be transformative. Parents and teens alike can begin with two remarkably simple yet powerful measures. The first is the consistent updating of applications. Software developers release updates not only for aesthetic or functional improvements but also to patch vulnerabilities—weaknesses that cybercriminals might exploit. Skipping updates leaves devices unguarded, whereas staying current reduces exposure dramatically. The second step involves adopting robust password protocols. This means generating unique passwords for every account, enabling two-factor authentication whenever possible, and, ideally, using a trusted password manager to securely organize and encrypt them. Remarkably, just these two actions—keeping apps updated and managing passwords properly—can eliminate a vast majority of common security threats. Contrary to common perception, true digital safety does not necessarily require intricate strategies or heavy-handed controls; it can rest on small, consistent habits.
**Use child accounts wisely**
Another frequent oversight I see among parents is the tendency to set up devices and accounts using their *own* information instead of their children’s. At first glance, this seems pragmatic: entering one’s own birthdate, email address, or other identifying details ensures easy access. Unfortunately, what many parents do not realize is that this practice disables numerous child-specific protections that platforms intentionally build into their systems. Whether configuring a tablet, activating a new gaming profile, or creating a social media account, it is essential to provide a child’s authentic age. This unlocks the automatic safety frameworks—such as restricted content, privacy limitations, and usage alerts—that developers designed specifically to match a child’s developmental stage. Skipping this step removes a free yet significant layer of built-in protection.
**Avoid overreliance on parental controls**
Parental controls are a useful resource, and I encourage families to explore them thoroughly, but it is critical to remember that they are only one layer of defense. Like all tools, they are imperfect. Even when configured perfectly, they cannot anticipate or prevent every possible risk. Therefore, rather than viewing controls as the ultimate solution, parents should combine them with active oversight and meaningful dialogue. The most powerful safeguard is an ongoing conversation that ensures children feel comfortable disclosing what they experience online.
**Encourage curiosity through questioning**
The digital landscape evolves at an astonishing pace—consider the rapid emergence of artificial intelligence in generating content. This makes it more urgent than ever to teach children how to cultivate critical thinking and skepticism in response to what they encounter online. For example, if a parent comes across an AI-generated image or piece of writing, it can serve as an ideal teaching moment: show it to your child, discuss its cues, ask them what seems inauthentic, and explain what led you to recognize it as artificial. By posing open-ended questions like, “What interesting things did you come across today?” or “Was there anything that seemed unusual or suspicious?” parents open the door to candid dialogue. Not only does this help reveal what children are encountering, but it also strengthens their capacity to differentiate genuine information from manipulated or fabricated content.
**Accept imperfection as part of learning**
Finally, it is vital for parents to loosen the unrealistic expectation that children will always act flawlessly online. Understandably, most parents strive fervently to prevent errors that could lead to embarrassment or harm. As a mother myself, I sympathize with this desire. Yet total prevention is, quite simply, impossible. Just as children inevitably stumble when learning to walk, they will also make missteps within their digital lives. The true parental role is not to enforce unreachable perfection but rather to guide children in developing judgment and resilience. When mistakes occur—and they certainly will—they can become valuable learning opportunities. With sensible protective structures in place, ongoing candid discussions, and consistent awareness, the consequences of these mistakes need not be devastating. Instead, they can reinforce strength, responsibility, and greater independence.
In essence, parenting in the digital age requires a combination of pragmatic precautions and open-hearted communication. Safety is not born from fear or ironclad rules, but from empowering children with skills, knowledge, and confidence to navigate the online world responsibly.
Sourse: https://www.businessinsider.com/cathy-pedrayes-online-safety-tips-for-parents-2025-9
