For many technology professionals, maintaining their position in an industry increasingly shaped by automation and relentless efficiency may depend on something far more human than technical proficiency: likability. In a climate defined by rapid change, layoffs, and restructuring, the ability to build goodwill and professional rapport is emerging as an essential survival skill, rivaling even the quality of one’s code or the speed of one’s output.
Soubhik Dawn, a veteran of the tech world with almost twenty years of experience, observes that the culture has subtly but notably shifted. Where once technical meritocracy reigned supreme, there is now a heightened emphasis on pleasing not only immediate supervisors but also layers of senior leadership several rungs above. This isn’t to say that competence has lost its value—technical ability remains a prerequisite—but the premium on interpersonal ease, charm, and the subtle art of winning favor has never been higher. As Dawn, founder of Upplai—a company that integrates artificial intelligence to refine résumés and cover letters—explains, a sense of showmanship now weaves itself through the everyday operations of many tech teams. Colleagues whisper and speculate about who can engage the executives most gracefully or present updates with just the right balance of competence and charisma.
While mastery of programming languages, architectural systems, and algorithmic logic continues to form the backbone of success, Dawn emphasizes that in today’s environment, interpersonal likeability has become the deciding factor between staying and being shown the door. Another seasoned developer, who asked to remain anonymous due to corporate restrictions on media interactions, underscores this idea succinctly: being approachable and cooperative, especially toward management, is now “the most important survival skill” in modern Big Tech. It was not an insight he grasped early. By overcommitting to tasks in a quest to impress, he learned the hard way that sheer productivity was not enough. The missed deadlines and stress that followed taught him that cultivating genuine relationships with leadership might have yielded far greater long-term benefits.
Dawn has repeatedly seen charm operate as a quiet currency within corporate hierarchies. Over time, he’s watched colleagues gain favor not solely through extraordinary performance but through visible gestures of alignment and social engagement—chatting amiably with senior vice presidents, tidying up presentation decks before a meeting, or taking on incidental errands that made higher-ups’ lives easier. Those employees, he notes, often reaped disproportionate recognition after completing modest projects, their visibility magnified through likability. In some instances, it isn’t even overt sociability that bestows favor; consistent reliability—delivering on promises, communicating early about obstacles, and avoiding unpleasant surprises—naturally builds a foundation of trust that translates into likability. As Dawn succinctly puts it, “likability is another word for dependability.”
Social psychologist Amy Cuddy, formerly a professor at Harvard Business School, offers a broader theoretical lens to this phenomenon. People, she explains, instinctively assess others first on dimensions of warmth—encompassing kindness, sincerity, and trustworthiness—before judging competence. Her research, spanning over two decades, reveals that in uncertain contexts, perceptions of warmth overwhelmingly outweigh technical skill in determining professional success. “What people refer to as likability today,” she notes, “essentially serves as a shorthand for trustworthiness—and trust happens to be alarmingly scarce.” In environments marked by volatility and job insecurity, employees and leaders alike become hyper-attuned to cues of honesty and reliability. A brilliant coder who lacks trustworthiness can easily be perceived as threatening rather than valuable.
Cuddy argues that this subtle craving for psychological safety explains why discussions of likability have intensified. It is not about superficial friendliness or after-hours camaraderie; it is about creating an atmosphere in which others feel confident that their colleagues’ actions are predictable and their intentions benign. “Trust is the conduit of influence,” she says. “No matter how visionary your ideas may be, they will fail to travel without a medium of trust.”
Even so, not every sector of the industry treats likability with equal weight. Tom Chi—who has held positions at Google, Microsoft, and Yahoo and now partners at the venture capital firm At One Ventures—acknowledges that while personal rapport undeniably shapes outcomes, the field still contains roles governed by measurable, data-driven performance metrics. For engineers judged by the quantity and quality of code contributions, or by tangible system reliability, it is relatively clear who is excelling. The archetype of the “brilliant jerk”—an expert whose abrasive personality is tolerated due to the irreplaceable brilliance of their work—remains deeply embedded in tech’s cultural DNA. Nevertheless, Chi observes that in collaborative or cross-functional roles such as product management, user experience design, and customer relations, the ability to harmonize with peers and stakeholders often merges with professional merit itself. In such contexts, likability is not simply a bonus but an active form of competence—a reflection of one’s skill in communication, facilitation, and consensus-building.
At the same time, Chi cautions against overcorrecting in the opposite direction. The pursuit of universal approval, he warns, can distract from genuine skill development. Those who chase popularity at the expense of substance soon find themselves adrift once the charm loses its novelty. Sustained success rests on a synthesis: technical mastery reinforced by emotional intelligence. The anonymous coder, however, remains pragmatic in his assessment of current realities: “Does everyone like you?” he asks rhetorically. “Because that’s how you survive in Big Tech right now.”
Sourse: https://www.businessinsider.com/tech-being-likable-can-matter-more-than-being-effective-2025-11
